


Of Milk and Labels

by ObliqueOptimism



Series: Here Be Crazy Hats [2]
Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: AU, But Derek loves him anyway, Gen, Hats for every occasion, Homophobia, M/M, Not Beta Read, Stiles is very strange, some violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-07-09
Updated: 2012-07-09
Packaged: 2017-11-09 12:33:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,177
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/455501
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ObliqueOptimism/pseuds/ObliqueOptimism
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Stiles was glad that he didn't have Kate as an evil ex from hell, but he would prefer that to Guy.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Of Milk and Labels

**Author's Note:**

> Oh God. There's more now. I hadn't planned on there being more but so many people asked and well, Mylo xyoto on ff.net kind of gave me an idea for this part. So yeah, this is how it is. Anyway, this takes place a bit after the first half. Enjoy!

Derek shouldn't have been as surprised at what was in Stiles' house as he was. He should have known that it would have been full of hats. What was really surprising was that Stiles apparently had a label maker, and everything was labelled.

He had hats labelled for certain times.

Cleaning hat, napping hat, cooking hat, sex hat, bathing hat.

It was almost out of hand.

Derek almost mentioned that it was out of hand when Stiles presented him with his very own sex hat.

But he knew what he was getting into when he called Stiles up a few hours after meeting him. Well, he had an idea. Stiles was as intense as Derek had expected him to be. Odd how he could be absentminded as much as he was intense. Not that Derek complained.

They had been dating for a while and Derek basically lived at Stiles' house now, only going home once in awhile. He had thought about officially moving in, telling Stiles that it was going to happen and get the rest of his possessions over; however, he thought it would be more fun if he moved in without telling Stiles.

He knew Stiles would be okay with it, Stiles had already left some hints that they should just move in together. Derek just wanted to not discuss his feelings about the subject and move in on the down low. Slowly move his stuff, maybe while Stiles was out replace Stiles' sofa with his own because the sofa Stiles' had was horrible. It was too narrow and uncomfortable and had a stain that he didn't want to know about on one of the arms.

This was why Derek didn't think much of it when Stiles came up to him, new hat in hand and proclaimed, "This is your grocery shopping hat."

Derek raised an eyebrow as he took the hat from his boyfriend, "Grocery shopping hat?"

"Yes, for when we go grocery shopping." Stiles said as if he shouldn't have to explain.

"As in specifically for when buying food." Derek said slowly, "But not if we go shopping for other things."

"You are correct, sir." Stiles said, "Put it on." He waved his hand at Derek's head.

Derek rolled his eyes, but put the stylish hat on. It was mostly black, with a ribbing of color around the base, making it pop.

"Classy." Stiles said with a grin. "Smooth and classy."

Derek went to take it off and hand it back when Stiles made a stopping motion, "Dude, we are going to grocery shopping now so put the hat back on. I'll go grab mine and then we can go get food because we need food. To eat. And also to maybe use during the sex times." He looked Derek up and down, "Because yes, I am okay with licking some melted chocolate out of your belly button or oh my God, you have those lines on your body and it will be like a river of choclate following the lines to you're-"

Derek put a hand over Stiles' mouth, "I get it. Sounds like a good plan."

After Derek took his hand away, Stiles smirked, "You bet your ass it sounds like a good plan. I only come up with good plans which is why you should just move in already, okay? Because you don't need to pay so much money for your place when you're never there and I totally love that we're moving into mine which is also understandable because of my hat shop and I already have everything labelled."

Derek sighed and grabbed the keys to his car. A lot of the labelling got done when Stiles' couldn't sleep. He either made hats or labelled. Which was why he once woke up with his face labelled with 'Face of Goodness and Eyebrows' and then a crazy hat next to him. Of course he had to put the hat on for pictures, but Derek made sure the label was off of his face before the picture was taken.

The labeling is also how they ended up saying "I love you" for the first time. Derek hadn't known it, but Stiles had put a label on his shirt that said "I love Derek" but Derek didn't see it. When he came over that time, they ended up just having sex. He had pushed Stiles up against the wall and taken Stiles' shirt off, throwing it across the room.

In the morning, Derek woke up first and went to clean up the mess they had made. Turning Stiles shirt right side out, he didn't notice until later that the label got stuck on his elbow. Frowning, he peeled it off and stared at it. They hadn't been dating that long at that point in time, but he glanced over at Stiles who was still fast asleeping.

Derek had smirked and made his own label that said near the same before putting it on and just waiting for Stiles to notice.

Stiles noticed when he was eating his cereal. He looked up, took his spoon out of his mouth and then threw the spoon at Derek, hitting him in the chest. "Oh my God!"

Derek snorted, thinking about it as he got into the car. He didn't bother turning on the radio because he usually never heard whatever was on it anyway. Not when Stiles was there. Stiles rambled for a while, starting off with what all was on the grocery list, but got a bit off topic, "Seriously man, Jackson? You've met him. The douche who is a baby deer? Yeah, him. Anyway, he eats apples really loud, you have no idea."

Derek had almost been surprised when he found out that Jackson wasn't that straight guy who beat Stiles up because he on him. Only he found out later that Jackson's best friend was gay did he finally believe it. Then he overheard Jackson trying to tell Danny that he was everyone's type. Derek almost entered the room to say that Jackson was not Derek's type. But he figured Jackson would roll his eyes and say something about how Derek must not have good taste because he was dating Stiles.

Derek followed Stiles around with the cart in the store as Stiles fluttered about grabbing food at random. He didn't seem to be keeping to the list he was spouting earlier. "You don't need that cereal." Derek said, eyeing something that claimed it was 25% less sugar but he knew it was a lie.

"But Derek! It has 25% less sugar." Stiles pointed.

"That is a lie." Derek moved from behind the cart to grab some more sensible cereal. "You should eat this. I know that it still tastes good."

"I might well eat wood chips." Stiles argued. "I have very delicate taste buds and I need this cereal here. It tastes very good and I need it, let me buy it please." He paused, "Oh my God. But you haven't moved in yet, it's my house still. I can still buy it. It's mine Derek. Mine." He hugged the box.

"I will move in tonight if you put that cereal down." Derek argued.

"No." Stiles backed up, "You aren't allowed. Not until I have ate it all and gotten the prize at the bottom."

Derek hung his head and sighed, giving up the fight. "Fine. I'll go get-" He waved his hand in the air, "milk."

"Make sure it's 2%." Stiles yelled at his retreating back.

Derek nodded and continued walking away.

Stiles smiled at Derek's retreating back. He was glad that he had Derek. He knew that he was strange and that most people didn't want to put up with him, so he was very grateful for Derek's crazy ex, because without her he wouldn't have gone into his shop.

To be fair, Derek was a little strange too.

He didn't like to talk about his feelings, he had some sort of affair with his leather jacket, and he choose to work out. In his free time. Not that Stiles complained, because he certainly liked the results, but it still seemed odd to him.

Moving to the next aisle, Stiles was singing a bit to himself, looking at what was all on the shelves when he was suddenly shoved against them. Grunting, Stiles turned around and was pushed harder against the shelves. He knew he was going to bruised.

"Well, well, well." The man glared, getting up in Stiles' face, "Have you started to stalk me?"

The guy looked familiar to Stiles. For now he was just going to call him "Guy", at least until he remembered Guy's name. If he ever knew it, that was. Guy was tall, good looking, clearly someone that Stiles would hit on-

Guy was the one who had beat him up after Stiles hit on him.

Oh God.

This wouldn't be good.

"Listen," Stiles started, "I'm not stalking you, Guy. Because I had even forgotten who you are. Like when you just shoved me then? Legit didn't recognize you and do you realize what that means? Because you put me in the hospital, man. And I didn't forget your face because of like a memory problem due to a concussion, right? It's because I just, I don't see the point of remembering your face when you clearly-"

"Like hell you wouldn't remember my face." Guys sneered, "You certainly liked it enough."

"Well yeah,' Stiles tried to shrug, "I like a lot of faces a lot. But dude, don't worry. I have a boyfriend now and I'm like all up in there and won't cheat on him, not even for you, because he's mystically magical, man. And-"

"Managed to turn someone, did you?" Guy glowered, "You sick fuck."

Stiles watched, eyes wide as Guy got ready to punch him. Stiles wanted to duck, but Guy's other hand was holding him still. "Oh crap."

Derek grabbed a gallon of 2% and headed back to where he left Stiles. Only to find that aisle empty. Before Derek could think much about how he'd now have to track down his boyfriend, he heard Stiles' voice.

He relaxed, but only for a second. He heard some panic in Stiles' tone followed by some sound of fist hitting flesh and some boxes of food falling to the ground. Muttering a curse, Derek ran into the next aisle and saw some big, muscled man towering over Stiles, fist pulled back. Stiles was cowering against the shelves, food scattered on the floor at their feet.

Before he could process what he was doing, Derek had hefted the milk in the air and threw it at the man, hitting him in the shoulders. The weight of the gallon hitting him, put the man off balance and he fell to the ground. The milk followed suit and broke open, milk spray Stiles but flooding the man.

"Derek?" Stiles' voice was small.

Derek stalked up to the man and glared, grabbing the man's shirt, he hefted the guy in the air. Growling, he pushed the man against the shelves so that he could see how it felt and then forcefully shoved him to the ground. He felt like smiling at the man's grunt of pain.

"What's going on?" An employee's voice sounded.

Derek was going to ignore him and go after the man again, but Stiles was in the way, gently pushing Derek back. "Derek calm down."

"He hurt you." Derek said, seeing Stiles' eye already bruising.

"Yes, but you've hurt him worse. It's okay man." Stiles said, wrapping his arms around Derek's in a hug that made it so that he couldn't move his arms without pushing Stiles out of the way.

"Seriously. What is going on?" The employee asked again.

The man started to talk, "I don't know, this guy here starts hitting on me and then the other guy starts hitting me!"

Stiles turned around, letting go of Derek who just proceeded to wrap his arms around Stiles protectively. "Hey Scott." Stiles smiled at the employee, "Trust me, I wasn't hitting on this guy. I mean, I have in the past but dude, I learned my lesson to not flirt with Guy. Because, man, he's-"

Scott's eyes slowly slid over to stare at the man, "He's the one who put you in the hospital?"

"Totally." Stiles said, "And you know what, this time I'd love to press charges since I couldn't last time. Because he, legit, just started to attack me for no good reason-"

"Oh, I had a good reason." The man spat before pointing at Derek, "He is the one that just attacked for no good reason."

"You hurt Stiles." Derek spat out at him.

"I'll call your dad." Scott said, turning to the man, "Stiles' dad is the sheriff."

"Fuck." The man said, groaning.

At the end of the day, the man was arrested and and Derek was very glad to be able to take Stiles home. Because that's what Stiles' house was. It was home to them.


End file.
